*Matthew Knowles speaks to Kelly Rowland's X fiance, Roy Williams, circa late-2004*

Roy, "cellulite" is only.."fat"! You know, like "love fat"?? Every woman has some! You like Cottage Cheese with your salad, don't you? I know I do!

Matthew, I'm not sure I follow you. What you mean??

Listen Roy...just listen.. A "weave" isn't all..THAT bad, you know? It sure beats the alternative. Do you really want to look over, at your gushing soon-to-be bride, and see "male-pattern baldness": hairline..LIKE YOURS? TRUST; NO, you don't! And don't worry 'bout that flat-pancake azz. They've got those "cut" jeans, and 'g-strings' that'll fix all that. Now that "pre-pubescent chest" of hers.. Well, I've been reading 'bout all the medical miracles they're-all now doing.

Well, Matthew, I know.. I guess.. But at the very least, there's.."talent". She's 'talented' yes? I mean, that's why Destiny's Child sold as they did/have, right?

Er...Roy, well.. (sigh) Listen, have a seat, right here, beside me. Son, you see, you're "getting it twisted", DC IS my daughter, and ONLY my daughter's "platform." That's precisely why I had to get rid of that uppity Latoya, and Farrah. I didn't want ANYONE to even attempt to outshine MY Bey -- I WASN'T HAVING IT! THEM BITCHES HAD TO GO..!! Roy, didn't you see the 'Simply Deep' first week's numbers? ..IT SUCKED RUSTY FART-ASS!! She only moved 77K, and then it ONLY did 600K U.S., 2-Million WW; given ALL 'that money' we pumped into her promotion: "Simply Deep" was "Simply A Mess"!! Look, both Kelly and Michelle were "life-sized human-cardboard cutouts" for MY BEY to dance, sing and outshine. That's why I kept 'em in DC: two "skinny scarecrows" for the "Caressable, Irrepressible Creole" to dance and sing around; get it..??

OMG, Matthew! What am I getting myself into..??

Look, Roy, I only want to let YOU know what's up, you seem like a good dude. Roy!! Where are you going?? Why are you running towards the door like that..??

Er..er.. Matthew, I gotta go to a..a..a 'team prayer'.. Then I gotta have a talk with God! PEACE..

ISHMAEL