The pop fates are spinning quite a tickling web.  For, while Janet Jackson made news for cancelling tour plans due to need of backing track vocal rest,  Rihanna has been cited by her vocal coach to be a ‘true vocalist’.  Such billing is sure to get a collective side-eye from many-a-patient currently recovering from the “true vocal” displays that were the Loud cd and accompanying tour.

As the Grammy winning NOcalist vocalist preps fans for ‘Talk That Talk’, she is releasing webisodes documenting its creation process and many other behind the scenes gems from the Loud era (which coincidentally ended less than a month before ‘Talk’ was announced’).

Get into this, the latest of the set, after the jump:

The only ‘true’ here is the power of delusion as a mind altering force – and so is a paycheck!  Either one of or all of the above have blessed this “vocal coach”.  For while he and seemingly many-an-earplug manufacturer have rejoiced since Rihanna’s 2005 introduction as sales of their products have skyrocketed,  the buck stops there.  So, to call Rihanna ‘a true vocalist’ is about as oxymoronic as a Milli Vanilli acapella performance.  Just not happening.

And, while we at TGJ recognize Rihanna is, in fact, talented, it is the lack of culturing of such talent (even in its limited capacity) that negates and insults the sheer notion of being a “true vocalist”.

That is, unless, this is her real vocal coach:

Your thoughts?