In reply to Future faithful husband and dad.

But man how do you do it? I've been right where you are. Was married for 12 years and thought that would make it go away and I truly loved my wife. Feelings never left but I remained faithful to my wife. Although divorced now I was raised up in the church and a Baptist one at that so I know how to fight and pray and fast and know scripture pretty well and am a very active member of my church but there was always a part of me that no one knew about and I just suppressed all those years and I because of the suppression I was truly not a happy person. I felt like I was not living my truth or being honest with myself. Scripture would help, praying would help, talking to friends that struggled too would help at times but not all the time and it always would come back. A constant battle and I was soooo frustrated because nothing seemed to work. I always questioned God about this and why HE wouldn't just take it away and one day HE took me to the scripture where Paul had the thorn in his side and God wouldn't remove it and said "My grace is sufficient" so I took God as saying this desire I have is not going away so I guess everyone has a cross and this was going to be mine. I don't wasn't to put another woman through this as it's not fair to them and I would be doing them a disservice. They wouldn't get all of me which is cheating them out of complete happiness.