1/ The backlash American Life received in the US shook Madge into playing it safe.

2/ Quinquagenarians don't stay up all night streaming Youtube from 10 different tabs. Plus, why would a 50-something buy a record made by a 50-something that doesn't address 50-somethings' issues?

If I were Pop's Queen, I'd boldly write more relatable songs and call a cat a p-u-s-s-y. Talk about dating at my age, how the industry wants to put me to pasture, how I have daydreams of walking my daughter down the aisle ... or not!

Keeping up with the youngins ain't never been what set her shining star apart.