Dear Katy,

From 2010-2014, you were THAT b***h. Unfortunately, nobody cares about this new trash. Once the Kesha/Dr. Luke legal drama started, your label forced you to stop working with Dr. Luke. Obviously, after listening to Witness, it's clear that Dr. Luke was solely responsible for your success. So, please either retire and focus on marriage to Orlando Bloom, or get back to working with Dr. Luke (and risk being blacklisted from radio....but then again, nobody is playing your new music anyways, so what's there to lose?).

Signed,
Your black wig from the first 3 albums