Please, need ya’ll to help me. I was just laying in bed catching up on Sunset Beach, when I started to drift off, dreaming about my Universal Credit going into my account at midnight and how I’m gonna stomp-run my big fat self all the way to Primark first thing in the morning to finally purchase a new pair of mint green sandals for my overgrown eczema-riddled toes to pertrude out of. Anyway, just as I was about to drift off, I felt a real hard pinch right on my f@nn¥. It made me scream so loud! Then I felt it again, and again. I jumped up to turn on the bedside table light, and when I looked down, low n behold there was a big fat grey RAT chewing away at my v@gina!!! I clasped my big black thunder thighs together with the quickness to trap it dead, but I’m scared to fall asleep now in case another rat also smells me a mile off and comes for a nibble. What to do?