Aunjanue Ellis Comes Out as Bisexual: “This is Who I Am”

Aunjanue Ellis is sharing her truth. For, the Oscar nominee has opened up about being bisexual for the first time publicly.

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The ‘King Richard’ star spoke candidly about her sexuality in an interview with Variety and unpacked how the reveal was somewhat staggered due to the media not picking up on a move she made at the Essence Black Woman in Hollywood gala in March.

At the time, Ellis has the word “Queer” encrusted into her ensemble. But she playfully shared that no one publicly noted it:

“I was thinking, ‘Why didn’t more people pay attention to that?’ And I was like, they probably thought it said ‘Queen’ [Laughs]. It wasn’t that I was expecting any sort of major reaction or anything like that. One of my family members noticed, but nobody else did.”

Interestingly, she says a member of her family – the majority of whom have known about her orientation for decades – did notice and took umbrage. Ellis shared that the individual was “hurt” by her decision to proudly spotlight her sexuality in such a public space.

Addressing this, the 53-year-old Mississippi native said:

“I am a work in progress, and my family and my community are works in progress.I really believe that that is important to say because I’m not alone. We see people on the other side of it, where everybody’s good and fine: ‘Love is love.’”

Diving into her life growing up in a deeply religious family in the Bible Belt, Ellis added:

“If they come to New York and they are around all my gay friends, they’re like, ‘Oh we’re cool.’ But don’t bring it to the house. Don’t be open with it.”

Sharing that she knew her path was different as early as 8, she recalls thinking:

“Why does a woman have to be submissive to a man? ‘And then there was this other thing about me that I also didn’t understand.”

She adds that she tried “to talk my body into correct behavior.” And by “correct,” she frankly admits that was about liking boys.

“The solitude of that is so lonely, it’s violent. It’s violent because you literally have to tuck and place so many parts of you to be acceptable, so people won’t run from you and don’t want to be around you. It was exhausting. That’s what childhood was like. That’s what adolescence was like. I knew [my sexuality], but there was no template for it; there was no example of it; there was no place for it, and certainly no forgiveness for it.”

Ellis says that it was not until she was in her 30s that she was able to fully embrace the fullness of her bisexuality.

While walking with a fellow female attendee at a film festival, she mused on the moment it clicked:

“We were just spending time talking and hanging out. We walked by this stream — those streams in Utah where it snows once, and then it becomes a beautiful, clear, clear stream — and there was a moment when the sun was hitting the water, and I was looking down in the water, and it was so clear, and I can only hear this woman’s voice behind me. I said, ‘This is how I’m supposed to feel. This is what I’ve been waiting to feel my entire life.’”

Ellis, who is in an 11-year relationship with a man she met at church, stressed that she’s long been open:

“The way that I live my life, around the people that I live my life around, I am public about it. I’m very clear about being bisexual. I have a sweatshirt that says ‘Girl Bi’ that I wear everywhere.”

Addressing why she hadn’t spoken about her orientation publicly prior to now, she laughed and frankly said:

“Nobody asked.”

She continued:

“There is an assumption made of me — a presumption made of me. Is it because I’m a Black woman from Mississippi? Is it because I’m older? I don’t know what the mechanics are that goes into them not processing, or them not just being able to believe that in the same way I am Black, I am queer. This is who I am.”

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