As Fantasia relayed to That Grape Juice in her interview with us earlier this year, her life has always been an “open book”. A statement which has proved itself resoundingly valid over the last few weeks. Indeed, the American Idol alum has found herself at the centre of scandal and (almost) tragedy as of late.
However, with an album hitting stores tomorrow, the 25 year old is picking up the pieces and fighting back. As well as a number of promotional appearances for the LP, the mother of one is set to feature on an episode of VH1’s ‘Behind The Music’ – which airs tomorrow.
Check out People Magazine‘s preview of the episode, which sees Fantasia reveal that she did indeed attempt to take her own life.
Two weeks after being hospitalized for overdosing on aspirin and a sleep aid, singer Fantasia Barrino says it was no accident. She wanted to die.
“I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out,” the American Idol winner, 26, tells VH1 in a new Behind the Music interview, airing 9 p.m. ET/PT Tuesday, the same day her new album, Back to Me, is released. “At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive].”
She continues: “I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”
Barrino’s manager, Brian Dickens, recalls finding her lying on the floor in her room. “Her emotions were extremely low,” he says. “She’d been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying ‘I love you.’ I wrote back, ‘I love you more.’ Then it hit me.”
“I wrote, ‘You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.’ And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, ‘Already did.’ I went into Fantasia’s room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped.”
What made the successful singer, who’s preparing to release her third album, want to end her life? “I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired,” she says. “My head was hurting me. I was over it.”
Affair with Antwaun Cook
To complicate matters even more, Barrino is now being threatened with a lawsuit by Paula Cook, the wife of Antwaun Cook, with whom Fantasia had been having an affair.
“When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home. He didn’t want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told,” Barrino says. “I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], ‘It didn’t work, I’m still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.’ “
Ultimately, the singer says the saving grace was her nurse. “My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear,” she says. “She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, ‘You gotta get up, and you’ve gotta get out of here, ’cause you haven’t fulfilled your destiny.’ “
“I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can’t, I can’t go on, it’s too heavy. That was somewhere I don’t ever want to go again.” {Source}
Deep.
Many were quick to question the timing of this whole episode. Yet, based on the above, had her suicide attempt had a different outcome, folk would be singing a very different tune. It’s oh-so-easy to forget that celebrities are very much normal people, who can and do fall victim to life’s pressures. In any case it’s great to see Fantasia back and plugging her stellar ‘Back to Me’ LP.