Fantasia: “Overdose Was Not Accidental”

Published: Monday 23rd Aug 2010 by Sam

As Fantasia relayed to That Grape Juice in her interview with us earlier this year, her life has always been an “open book”. A statement which has proved itself resoundingly valid over the last few weeks. Indeed, the American Idol alum has found herself at the centre of scandal and (almost) tragedy as of late.

However, with an album hitting stores tomorrow, the 25 year old is picking up the pieces and fighting back. As well as a number of promotional appearances for the LP, the mother of one is set to feature on an episode of VH1’s ‘Behind The Music’ – which airs tomorrow.

Check out People Magazine‘s preview of the episode, which sees Fantasia reveal that she did indeed attempt to take her own life.

Two weeks after being hospitalized for overdosing on aspirin and a sleep aid, singer Fantasia Barrino says it was no accident. She wanted to die.

“I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out,” the American Idol winner, 26, tells VH1 in a new Behind the Music interview, airing 9 p.m. ET/PT Tuesday, the same day her new album, Back to Me, is released. “At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive].”

She continues: “I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”

Barrino’s manager, Brian Dickens, recalls finding her lying on the floor in her room. “Her emotions were extremely low,” he says. “She’d been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying ‘I love you.’ I wrote back, ‘I love you more.’ Then it hit me.”

“I wrote, ‘You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.’ And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, ‘Already did.’ I went into Fantasia’s room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped.”

What made the successful singer, who’s preparing to release her third album, want to end her life? “I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired,” she says. “My head was hurting me. I was over it.”

Affair with Antwaun Cook

To complicate matters even more, Barrino is now being threatened with a lawsuit by Paula Cook, the wife of Antwaun Cook, with whom Fantasia had been having an affair.

“When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home. He didn’t want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told,” Barrino says. “I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], ‘It didn’t work, I’m still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.’ “

Ultimately, the singer says the saving grace was her nurse. “My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear,” she says. “She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, ‘You gotta get up, and you’ve gotta get out of here, ’cause you haven’t fulfilled your destiny.’ “

“I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can’t, I can’t go on, it’s too heavy. That was somewhere I don’t ever want to go again.” {Source}


Many were quick to question the timing of this whole episode. Yet, based on the above, had her suicide attempt had a different outcome, folk would be singing a very different tune. It’s oh-so-easy to forget that celebrities are very much normal people, who can and do fall victim to life’s pressures. In any case it’s great to see Fantasia back and plugging her stellar ‘Back to Me’ LP.

Your thoughts?

Posted under:

Comments 34

Please Post Your Comments & Reviews

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. CIARADABESS August 23, 2010

    God bless her and her album is AMAZING!

  2. TheBaddestBitch August 23, 2010

    Thank God her manager was there to save her.

    Her album is the business by the way 🙂

  3. Rated x August 23, 2010

    fantasia I love u girl, i think u have an amazing voice..
    but u really need to sit ur ass down..
    i have zero sympathy for u since u wasnt thinking about ur child, when u was doing all them nasty s***..
    zero sympathy when children are involve

  4. JDot August 23, 2010

    I am on my knees praying for her
    You never know what the next person is going through and what might seem trivial to you just might be the final straw for someone else.

  5. Spunkypoop August 23, 2010

    I knew it! FAMILY< LIFE<STRESS< all that can get a good person down! Ima pray for her this too shall pass.

  6. stan August 23, 2010


    thank you. it’s so easy for people to judge and point fingers from the outside.

  7. AJAX August 23, 2010

    Critically good album but unfortunately this mess of a drama is gonna hurt her career, album sales and potential grammy. Last year the grammys made it clear. They like artists that live a “clean” life; hence Beyonce was chosen because that’s what her life represents – no drugs, supposedly good marriage, clean image, and good with the fans. What used to be about good music is now like the damn oscars – a f****** political contest. Between Monica and the ghetto queen, votes are for Monica.

  8. momo August 23, 2010

    Ajax, yah thats exactly why ppl don’t like Beyonce. She’s TOO clean, too perfect, too nice, she’s TOO UNREAL!!!! She is like Miss America, that always waves and smiles and hopes for WORLD PEACE! Remember, Tiger Woods like Beyonce had a squeky clean image and was very private, look where that got him. As an artist, when you go through personal struggles, ppl can relate to your music MORE! Not put out albums every year, albums that don’t really have any personal meaning, but just making music cuz your bored with your life! Music should tell a story, and to many people don’t have a story bcuz their too worried about being this clean, perfect BEAUTY QUEEN!

  9. Tiff August 23, 2010

    I aint buyin what you sellin fanny!

  10. DizzyGuy1985 August 23, 2010

    People like her should not have kids. She would have killed herself and left her child heart broken for the rest of her life and left her feeling like she didn’t love her child enough to stay alive. F*** Fantasia. Honestly.

  11. rob August 23, 2010

    f*** her man , f*** her family, f*** the industry, what about her daughter

  12. koko August 23, 2010

    Fantasia had a child when she was still a teenager so it wasn’t like a planned event. Anyway when a person tries to commit suicide they are not in their right mind, if they were then they wouldn’t be doing it. Many people get overwhelmed to the point of feeling it is no use to live. I have no doubt Fantasia loves her daughter she may have felt her daughter would be better off without her. I hate to put it like this but at least she did not try to take her daughters life as well which so many are doing killing the whole family or like that woman who just killed her 2 sons because she couldn’t take it anymore she didn’t try to kill herself she killed them. Now thats a shame.

  13. kody August 23, 2010

    dis b**** crazy

  14. Rated x August 23, 2010

    how are we judging her from the outside?
    common on now, shes a grown woman who knew the man was married when she started to deal with him.
    ok, lets give her the benefit of the doubt, lets say she didnt know he was was married or he was separated from his wife..
    u mean to tell all the blogs, and cnn telling everybody and their mama that Cook was married, but fantasia was the only person on the planet who didnt know?

    even when people started accusing her of dealing with Cook, she denied it..
    so she knew what she was geting into, the pressure from the media and cooks wife blasting her, got to her..

    an instead of just worried about her child, she was saw this as an oportunity to get attention..
    bottom line,
    i hate people who only think about theselves when s*** gets hard.

  15. Rated x August 23, 2010

    and tthe fact that even after she tried to kill herself over a man that did her wrong, she was seeing with him, hell theyre moving in together..

    yea she was thinking about her daughter alright..
    and we the ones wos judging her for no reason, shes the victim..

    I hate bishes who uses domestic violence and suicides attempts to get attention…
    for that fantasia, i cant get with what u selling..

  16. MrIncredible August 23, 2010

    Umm nobody thinks its a major problem that she did not think of her daughter FIRST? She is trash. Her album is good but I will bootleg it and share it with whoever I can. SMH

  17. Soulful Roses August 23, 2010

    This whole incident is getting the *Prince Side-Eye* from me. But hey…its working out in her favor as far as her music career. She hasn’t gotten this much attention since she won American Idol a couple of years back. What Fantasia is going through is very heart-breaking and I’m prayin for her, but I also feel her team is using this to promote her album. All plublicity isnt good plublicity…

    But I am to admit that her album is bananas. Didn’t have to press the skip button not one time…

  18. Soulful Roses August 23, 2010


  19. JDot August 23, 2010


    Its not that I don’t think it is a problem that she did not think of her child, it is that working in a health field I know first hand that if you get to the point of suicide it is not longer about how it might affect everyone else because you feel either that no one else cares or that they will be better off without you.

    It is rational for some one who is in there right mind to think “I can’t kill myself because I have a child, my mama would lose her mind if she had to bury me and every one I know and love would be devastated”
    But some one who is suicidal is not processing thoughts that way. They are not thinking about who they may hurt, there only thoughts are of what is hurting them and how to make it stop. The stuff she said in this article is what you see with most attempted suicides “She was tired”, “She just wanted to be at peace and couldn’t fight it anymore”

    I pray that someone around her really cares and that they are helping her seek at trained psychiatrist or this may not be the last time she gets to that point

  20. stan August 23, 2010


    co-sign. thank you for bringing that up. suicide is definitely not the answer, but when someone is in that mode, s/he is not thinking rationally.

  21. Kimora Cochran August 23, 2010

    I don’t want to be negative nancy, but i think Fantasia’s suicide attempt is unacceptable regardless of the situation. She has a child which makes it even worse. I’m glad she was not successful in her attempt, but I feel like she should have take time off to take care of the apparent issues going on in her life. Instead she jumped right back in front of the camera. That made me lose a lot of respect for her.

  22. Geronimo Deuces August 23, 2010

    go tasia just dont do it again…. everybody has something going on in their lives, just let antwan go, pls, he aint worthed.

  23. chips yummm August 23, 2010

    I hope this h** FLOPS

  24. S*** August 23, 2010

    PATHETIC, Cry me a River Tasia.*

  25. S*** August 23, 2010




    Don’t forget she steals writing credits and music lol…

  27. S*** August 23, 2010

    I wish I had her problems LOL, accept maybe the natural ability to read.

  28. JonathanGardnerTV August 23, 2010



    I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST SUCCESS! YOU DESERVE IT WITH THIS ALBUM! YOU HAVE SET THE STANDARD WITH “BACK TO ME” and it’s the only Fantasia album I own so far – but it definately won’t be the last!


  29. #Fact August 24, 2010

    Based on her statements regarding the incident, i’m going to say that Fantasia will most likely attempt to commit suicide again. She has not acknowledge the issues currently taking place in her life, she seems to be playing the victim card too often. Also, she’s talking about fulfilling a destiny that has a lot do with touching people through her music, but fail to understand what her real responsibilities are. Ah Fantasia, a major part of your destiny is guiding your daughter and instilling in her morals and values. You need to evaluate what is important in your life and what it is that you need to remove from your life in order to live your best life and hopefully watch your daughter grow up to be the woman your circumstances denied you to become. Good luck!

  30. DION-ISH August 24, 2010


    I Really dont know what to think, but whoever posted this was right, Celebrity’s are human too, and i hope she’s doing well now, and the people around her get things straight…

    BUT Really? Was she about to take her life over a man?! ….I Cant.

    What Britney Spears and Rihanna went thro makes Fantasia’s sh*t look like a minor issue, plz.

    I Get Maybe she wasnt in her right mind, but GOSH? Over some silly guy? Really?

  31. cw August 24, 2010

    keep your head up tasia. only god can judge you and those judging you shall too be judged themselves. people love to put out the proverbial how can such and such think about themselves and how selfish they are. Until you are in that person’s shoes, don’t attempt to rationalize the situation and just stfu. Until you have been suicidal and can vouch for what fantasia is speaking on, don’t attempt to act like you know wtf she was thinking or not thinking for that matter.

    who sits and plans to fake a suicide for publicity? I mean who does that? Has fantasia looked for publicity for her previous album releases? so why would she scheme a suicide attempt plot all just for album sales? You weren’t there, and you don’t know her or whats going on in her personal life, so don’t make an attempt to analyze her or discuss her as if you know her personally. Just because you read something on a blog doesn’t make you an expert on knowing whats going on fully in her life. People really kill me man.

  32. Jasmine August 24, 2010

    I don’t think it was a publicity fake suicide. I think she is just too uneducated and nieve to have control over her career so she relies on her manager’s ideas to commit to. She needs to go back to school and earn a real HS diploma, not the honorary one she has. She lacks maturity and education. Being from NC, she also is not “street” smart like Keyshia Cole or Mary J back in the day.

  33. JDot August 24, 2010


    There is no such thing as going back to school and earning a real diploma 10 years after you have dropped out. She has a GED, there is nothing else she can get.

  34. k August 24, 2010

    That is so sad to read. Po’ Fantasia.

Recommended Posts