Advertisement
  • Follow That Grape Juice TV
  • That Grape Juice Facebook
  • That Grape Juice Twitter
  • That Grape Juice YouTube
  • That Grape Juice RSS
Monday, October 1st 2012

Must See: VH1 Publish ‘Good Singer, Bad Dancer’ List

Katy+Perry Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

Unfortunately for them, not everyone can move like the Janet‘s and Beyonce‘s of the world.

So, just to ensure these performers are made aware of their ‘choreographed’ shortcomings, our friends over VH1 have forged a tally of acts who they believe are ‘Good Singers‘ but ‘Bad Dancers’.

To be honest, once you see some of the performers who made the list, you’ll understand why we’d say a few of them are bad at both.

Morale crusher below…

Via VH1:

For every Michael, Beyoncé and Usher, there’s a Christina, Mariah or Rihanna. Try as they might, the latter group of hot pop acts just can’t coordinate that whole singing-while-dancing thing. Their beats and belting may be tight on the radio, but when it comes to rocking dance moves in a music video, even some of the best sirens fall flat. For your amusement, check out these hilarious GIFs (you’re welcome) of crooners we adore who demonstrate some of the worst rump shaking we’ve ever seen. Debate our list in the comments below and, more importantly, let us know whose lack of rhythm we failed to catch.

Mariah Carey – “Shake It Off”

a1bfc0354e52a182fd583aa8bf1af074 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List e085ba0b483200a5970675a9d50f66b6 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

Moroccan and Monroe weren’t even zygotes yet, but Mariah looks like she was practicing serious mom moves in this video. Luckily, Mimi’s vocal acrobatics helped us shake off the memory of her awful wannabe thug life bleacher rocking, so all is forgiven.

Rihanna – “Where Have You Been”

76ffdcbe8f92bd01440c5eb40cf9cba7 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List ee8125dbbce47aed0fbcd3835263d991 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

There’s no doubt RiRi knows how to trill to the top of the charts. Too bad her knack for hot tracks doesn’t translate on the dance floor. Rihanna tried to keep up with the Calvin Harris-produced EDM track, but you can practically see her counting in her head as she works through detailed choreography. Thank goodness that those topless shots are in there to distract us!

Jessica Simpson – “Irresistable”

f20cb586af74dc41199cfefcb7b25e9f Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List 6d779b09c80ff8be1f011ea773121ba8 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

Her powerful pipes might be hard to resist, but Jessica’s tense hip swaying in “Irresistible” had us running away from her awful attempt at basic one-two stepping. Looks like former ballerina Ashlee got all the rhythm in this family.

Katy Perry – “California Gurls”

8b99aad3b125f7c569214633c0727255 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List 338c636110d05f80c61f92f57b45db45 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

I’d love to say Katy’s moves were hot in this video, but they weren’t. That sprinkler move was pretty sweet, though. And, really, who cares what you’re doing when you have whipped cream spraying from your chesticles?

Kelly Clarkson – “What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)”

ca939d683d54eab6ee14097e9de2d78c Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List faf644aec0cc75b11fa775a06ee67379 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

If you’re going to dance, but you know you’re no Bob Fosse, take a cue from Kelly and surround yourself with regular fans. Stars dance badly just like us!

Mandy Moore – “Candy”

c167e3a28b6ee1133e4c50b5deacab10 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List 424a1fbec24e63fe1fa8baf94b66f7f6 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

Gangling-limbs flailing, 15-year-old Mandy looked like a cheerleader who stepped straight from the pages of a Sweet Valley High novel for an impromptu performance. Who knows where she might have ended up if Mandy continued her bad dancing career.

Miley Cyrus – “Party In The U.S.”

3fb0dd3520f37e898bde274c16d3eada Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List 79cea75195cbd36ee7aa42f3b77b5aa1 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

Sixteen-year-old Miley exchanged her typical hair flinging rocker moves for booty wiggling in Daisy Dukes to party in this video. Guess a little underage pelvis popping is to be expected. It’s Miley! Anyone else feel like a shady frat guy scoping a party for underage girls while watching?

Nelly Furtado – “Promiscuous”

e4af9d86a3acb4bd2650177aee0d0056 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List 3a3d73b9ad3a00e3151a7eb31996b630 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

Nelly did a straight up Elaine Benes impression in the music video for her sensual song. Not exactly the smooth moves I would expect from a promiscuous girl, but she gets bonus points for being mom to a three-year-old at the time and looking like that.

Diddy – Any music video he’s in.

9fb2aab236684795714564d4c5ce3331 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List 3c72f44efde0ffd2e56ba6d116e8defc Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

Diddy loves to dance. Diddy thinks he’s a great dancer. Diddy is wrong, but as long as he serves up a hit, do you really care? No. That’s why you can watch him doing what looks like a cross between praise dancing and having a seizure in “Mo Money, Mo Problems” and looking like a drunk uncle trying to salsa with J. Lo in “Been Around The World.”

Whitney Houston – “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”

dfcd179e701b0960825484b2a9a56df3 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List d4b4d0cd06696a136341d34178531aed Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

It’s an undisputed fact (science) that people considered Whitney Houston one of the greatest vocalists of all time. From ballads to upbeat dance tracks, she belted like the best in the business, but boy was she an awful dancer. No matter, this song still gets everyone on their feet whether they dance like Whitney or Britney circa 2000.

Christina Aguilera – “Genie In A Bottle”

70e80e972bfec2ceda9ae46a16cd8665 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List cb78871b7429d44901db197251c81a10 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

X-Tina hadn’t quite emerged as the dirrty little dance freak we know and love when she put out her debut music video, so forgive The Voice star if her moves are a little stiff. It’s cramped in that bottle.

Avril Lavigne – “Girlfriend”

3a951da41755e60b10a3ff50f511ab46 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List 4748c079f47c589a2409e2172e2d15da Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

What the hell, Avril? The dance break in this video should have ended at the finger wag, but I’m no director. Lucky thing her punk pop vocals and “Mickey” beat are so damn catchy.

Jesse McCartney – “Shake”

a2b37ec3b6684b486725932185e78477 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List 90fc70347f1d22baedca2b6835817cf4 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List

Oh, Jesse. He went from “Beautiful Soul” singing to – is that a grapevine he’s doing? Maybe he should have spent less time shaking and more time promoting his last album, because he’s actually pretty decent…on the radio.

69b73126429f1d70ffdddfbc44aecb76 Must See: VH1 Publish Good Singer, Bad Dancer List
[GIF Credit to Lauren Olson]

Your thoughts?

Posted By:

130 Comments

130 COMMENTS

Connect with:

Leave a Reply

More Juice
CHOOSE A THATGRAPEJUICE FEED

RSS ThatGrapeJuice.TV