‘Love & War’ took on new meaning in the life of singer Tamar Braxton over the past few months due to her highly publicized battle with mental health and wellness as well as virtual showdowns with ex-fiance David Adefeso (as we’ve reported here).

The GRAMMY nominee made headlines over the summer for a reported suicide attempt, followed by explosive claims of abuse by and from Adefeso.

After a lengthy silence regarding the dramas, she put the circulating rumors to rest by taking to ‘The Tamron Hall Show’ Wednesday (October 28) to address the controversial topics head on.

Breaking down in tears as she recounted the dissolution of her relationship with David, look inside to see just what she said about that and other matters:

On her attempted suicide and if she’s ever tried to end her life before:

“I’m just going to be 100%. There has been a time where I wanted to, but this was the first time where I’ve actually acted on it.” 

On the status of her mental health: 

“I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety due to a circumstance…No, I’m not medicated, but I am in counseling every single day.”

On the story of her sexual abuse being shared on TV after someone in her family allegedly gave the information to show producers: 

“My family did an episode with Iyanla [Vanzant] and, and I was excited about it. But that excitement came to an end when she decided to tell everyone that I was domestically sexually abused from the ages of six to 16. And I’ve never told anyone that.”  She added: “It’s not an allegation. It’s a fact.”

On whether she told anyone in her family about the abuse:

“No.  And it haunts me. Because to be betrayed, just so people can tune in and laugh at you and judge you and criticize you. It was terrible. “ 

On going to counseling to try to mend things with her family: 

We went for help.  Me and my family.  We went for counseling…because the show, it did create a lot of division between me and my sisters and it did create, you know something that was never there which was we couldn’t get along and we couldn’t communicate. We stopped communicating. And we just simply wasn’t a family anymore.  And, that help turned into a nightmare for me.”

On why she wanted to hurt herself and the negative impact of the show:

“It was about feeling like I could never be myself and being misunderstood and having the stigma of the angry Black woman all the time. And that’s not who I am. That’s not what I wanted to portray…It wasn’t just about being an angry black woman, it was about real issues coming up on the show.”

On her initial vision for ‘BFV’ and how, in her opinion, the show strayed from the original concept:

“I love my family. And I don’t want to fight with my family. And I want to be an example of a family who fights and argues and always have turmoil. And now we’re at the point where it’s assaults and threats. This is not the show that I created. I created the ‘Braxton Family Values’ because I wanted to be an example part of the Black community with five Black amazing sisters, with all different walks of life, who can inspire and help and people can learn from our experiences along the way. We wasn’t teaching anything but being devilish and I didn’t want to do that.”

On the pressure of TV and having a hit show:

“I’m not going to sit here and act like a complete victim.  I played a part in that.  I know what it’s like to keep up ratings and keep up having the number one show on a network and having all of those bells and whistles and that comes with a price.  Sometimes you that comes with embarrassing your friends or embarrassing your siblings. I don’t think I sold my soul [to keep the show on]. I don’t think at the time I knew exactly what I was doing. I think that for the show and for my family we wanted to have a great show and sometimes that is making the deal with the devil and that is doing things that you wouldn’t normally do.” 

On feeding the fire by un-following her family on social media and her relationship with her family:

“I talk to my mother every single day.” She continued, “Look, I love my sisters. I feel like I have what I want from them. I have their love. I know my family loves me…I know, everybody wants me to blame my family. When you sign up for something like this, and you have the kind of people behind the scenes that you have…

On what she wants moving forward:

Forgiveness on both sides. There are things that I’ve done that I’m not happy about and that I’m not proud of. I’ve had my dark moments with my family where I feel like, I’m sure that I betrayed them at some point and I feel like forgiveness all the way around.”

On accusations that Tamar physically assaulted her former fiancé David Adefeso:

“I am a survivor of a domestic violence relationship. And not at any point was David and I in an abusive relationship.”

On how Tamar feels now about David:

“No, let me tell you something that I loved David. He was my best friend. He was an amazing, amazing partner. He was my son’s best friend as well, they were best friends. And it’s just so hard because through everything else I never expected this from him. Now, I have to be real with myself. Is he acting like this because he found me the way that he found me? Probably. I don’t know.”

On whether she is paying the price for fame:

“I don’t know what the price is for fame. But I do know that the wages of sin is death, and the gift of God is eternal life. And I know that if you’re not rooted and guided, you know, by the Holy Spirit and by your faith, you will fall into, you know, the things that you don’t want to be a part of…I lost my faith, I lost my sense of what I knew, what was right.  I didn’t always treat people kind and I wasn’t always fair. And I didn’t always watch my mouth and, you know, do the right thing. But that is my goal now, you know, the things that I’ve been through, I just felt like God brought me from there to bring me here to be an example, to be better to do better… It was about the responsibility of mental health. And the responsibility of suicide. It’s a very serious thing. Everything is not for entertainment.”

On whether or not she is done with reality TV: 

Absolutely. And not for a while. Forever and ever amen. She added: “I feel like that’s the best thing for me.  I don’t feel like I need to give a depiction of my life and what’s happening and a play by play.”

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